Found treasures

Today I found a lost treasure that sat on a shelf in my bedroom for nearly a year now, before then it most likely sat on a previous shelf in my old bedroom never intending to look upon it again. Today I decided to open it up, it reflected a past I though I would never want to rediscover. It is my first poetry book I wrote, I was nearly seventeen and in a desperate need of discovering a purpose in my life. I wasn't depressed, I wasn't happy, I was just there. At that point of my life i distracted myself by indulging myself in helping others to ignore the desperation of the harsh times I was going trough. I was naive, I believed that there were bigger issues that my friends were going through and that I should not feel sorry about myself. Now I believe that no matter what you are going through in life it is not minor, if you ignore every issue you will never be able to grow. Most importantly for me I love helping others, but if a person cannot deal with their own issues they cannot truly be help for another. Another important note, I notice a great difference in myself, in the sense that I do not take other people's problem on myself. The best thing to do for a fellow friend or even a stranger is just to listen. Hear what they have to say, offer advice i they ask but do not take on their problems yourself. Everyone has their own path to discover. I'm a strong believer of pre-destination. Everyone influences each other but no matter what we need to trust our instincts. There must be a note here, instincts are not needs, wants, they are something deep inside. I have always trusted my instincts and they have lead my to wonders of my world.

Lost Alone
March 29th,2000 (6th entry: dedicated to a friend what hung himself and was in a coma. Justin woke up two days later, and died the next after saying "I love you" to his mother)

I fell although I'm falling
Down dark bumby hole,
So dark, deep,
Cool shivers crawling up my spine.

You laughed, and cried,
You smiled, then died,
Why where you alone?
In the end, on the floor.

You said you loved,
You said you lost.
The thing you don't realize,
Is that after the fall, you finally lost it all.

You need something to have nothing my dear,
I have you are saved,
Alone,is never as it seems.